{"id":197,"date":"2014-07-23T21:57:03","date_gmt":"2014-07-23T21:57:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.nashvillerecovers.org\/?p=108"},"modified":"2017-07-09T06:21:53","modified_gmt":"2017-07-09T06:21:53","slug":"the-first-time-i-drank-i-got-so-sick-and-then-i-drank-again","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/nashvilleprevention.org\/nashville_recovers\/2014\/07\/23\/the-first-time-i-drank-i-got-so-sick-and-then-i-drank-again\/","title":{"rendered":"The first time I drank, I got SO SICK \u2014 and then I drank again"},"content":{"rendered":"

War stories from people in recovery can be stomach churning.<\/span><\/p>\n

When we get together, invariably, the conversation turns to drinking and using drugs and other not-good past behaviors.<\/span><\/p>\n

And then, the first-time stories come out.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThe first time I drank, I got drunk and puked all over my parents\u2019 basement. All my friends left and my mom found me the next morning laying in vomit, and I got in SO MUCH TROUBLE.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThe first time I got drunk, I was out and saw my ex-girlfriend with her new boyfriend. I mouthed off, and the guy KICKED MY ASS.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThe first time I smoked weed, I got super paranoid and I thought the police were outside. I FREAKED OUT and hid in the corner of my bedroom the rest of night.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThe first time I snorted, my heart started beating so fast. I thought it was going TO EXPLODE. I was sweating like a pig and I was so scared.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThe first time I shot up, I missed the vein, like, six times. I looked like a bloody pin cushion. It was SO GROSS.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\"drunk\"<\/span><\/a>I was out with a bunch of friends the other night, and these kinds of stories were flying around. One of the guys was with his normie (non-addict) mom, and she got the weirdest and most pained looks on her face.<\/span><\/p>\n

Finally, she said, \u201cI don\u2019t get it! Why, why if the first time was so awful, why in God\u2019s name would you do it again?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

We all laughed.<\/span><\/p>\n

Silly normie.<\/span><\/p>\n

I mean, don\u2019t get me wrong. That is a terrific question.<\/span><\/p>\n

It makes no sense why anyone would voluntarily subject him or herself to puking, getting in a fight, freaking out or bleeding all over house furniture or car seats \u2014 unless you\u2019re an addict or an alcoholic.<\/span><\/p>\n

Then we know that there is something inside of us that drives us to do it again. It\u2019s something chemical. Addiction, alcoholism are diseases, after all, and I\u2019m not making that up. The American Medical Association says it\u2019s so.<\/span><\/p>\n

But how can a normie, a Muggle, if you will, relate? How can non-addicts know what that obsession (for drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, porn, food) and compulsion to get those things is like?<\/span><\/p>\n

Hmmmm\u2026.. I\u2019ll give it a try.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"buffet\"<\/span><\/a>Ever go to an all-you-can-eat buffet and shovel it in until you\u2019re uncomfortable? Until you\u2019re actually sick?<\/span><\/p>\n

I see you nodding. Ever go back to that buffet? I\u2019ll bet ya have.<\/span><\/p>\n

How about sex? That first time can be awkward, embarrassing, even painful, sometimes really traumatic.<\/span><\/p>\n

Do we have sex again? Boy howdy, we do.<\/span><\/p>\n

Take that feeling, that compulsion and, for an addict\/alcoholic, multiply it by a whole bunch.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAn orgasm is a one, cocaine is a 100 in terms of what\u2019s going on chemically,\u201d says Samuel A. MacMaster, recovering alcoholic and social work professor at UT Nashville.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s a click or a switch that happens for us (after that first hit), sometimes right away, sometimes not,\u201d says Sam, who also co-owns a new young women\u2019s treatment center, Voyage, in Murfreesboro.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd it\u2019s so much more powerful than any negative consequences.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

A chemical reaction. A disease. Like cancer. So it has nothing to do with environment, nothing to do with childhood trauma.<\/span><\/p>\n

But lots of folks want to believe otherwise.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSome say these are bad people doing bad things. They grew up in a bad home. Something happened when they grew up,\u201d Sam says.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd then we look at mice \u2013 same chemical reaction.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

There is hope.<\/span><\/p>\n

Like diabetes, addicts can live with the disease, with daily treatment. Unlike diabetics, our treatment isn\u2019t drugs, it\u2019s spiritual medicine, 12-step meetings, recovery groups, therapy, service work and more.<\/span><\/p>\n

But know this: Once we\u2019ve had that first drink, that first drug, we probably won\u2019t stop without help and treatment.<\/span><\/p>\n

Please know this, too: We\u2019re not bad people, we\u2019re sick people.<\/span><\/p>\n

And those of us in recovery are trying to get better.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

War stories from people in recovery can be stomach churning. When we get together, invariably, the conversation turns to drinking and using drugs and other not-good past behaviors. And then, the first-time stories come out. \u201cThe first time I drank, I got drunk and puked all over my parents\u2019 basement. All my friends left and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[3,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-197","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/nashvilleprevention.org\/nashville_recovers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/197","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/nashvilleprevention.org\/nashville_recovers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/nashvilleprevention.org\/nashville_recovers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nashvilleprevention.org\/nashville_recovers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nashvilleprevention.org\/nashville_recovers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=197"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/nashvilleprevention.org\/nashville_recovers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/197\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":217,"href":"http:\/\/nashvilleprevention.org\/nashville_recovers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/197\/revisions\/217"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/nashvilleprevention.org\/nashville_recovers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=197"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nashvilleprevention.org\/nashville_recovers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=197"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nashvilleprevention.org\/nashville_recovers\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=197"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}